Dancing at the Capitol

Tonight, dancing barefoot in the grass with over twenty other people was just what I needed as I was reminded that all it takes is action to squash self doubt and pull out of a rut. The yoga class I planned on attending was canceled for the night and replaced by a “deep dance experience/ddx”class held free at Capitol Park. It sounded so unique and new, so I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and go. The energetic music pulsed with lyrics of faith, joy and freedom. I looked up, and was awed by the sight of capitol building looming majestically a few feet in front of me. I glanced around me at all the women dancing. They looked so confident, progressive, and spirited dancing without caring what others thought – like the kind of people that fought for their dreams. Then it hit me - I was one of those women! It may seem simple, but it was a powerful realization for me. That I was dancing in public in the middle of downtown Boise with people I had never met was incredible, and I had a moment of clarity.

Lately, I have felt as though I’m stagnating – bound by a mix of fear, complacency and an overwhelming self-doubt. (I haven’t fully heeded JLo’s advice yet). There has been this disconnect between wanting and action in my life that I’ve been unable or unwilling to bridge. Dancing at the capitol tonight ended up being my first steps across. It proved to myself that I am capable – that I can overcome even petty fear and self-doubt to take action. I was nervous to go this class alone after finding that none of my friends could join. Driving there, I got sick to my stomach worrying about dancing in front of people, people that probably were familiar with the class and the movements. I nearly flipped a u-turn and went home. Then, standing by myself waiting for the class to begin, I felt awkward watching everyone talk in groups. But, I smiled and told myself to just try it. One kind girl introduced herself, and I was grateful. She advised me that this class truly is an “experience” and that you have to shed all self consciousness and just dance. So, I took her advice, and as the music started I promised myself that I wouldn’t judge myself and would have fun. As I danced a huge smile spread across my face that I couldn’t wipe away. I wondered why I was afraid in the first place. This is something I can translate to all aspects of my life: being brave enough to take action without judgment. Recently, I haven’t taken many steps toward my goals. I’ve been telling myself, “it’s not the right time yet. I need to be more prepared, more sure of myself, better trained, wealthier, older….etc” The excuses piled up along with my discontent. But, tonight, I was reminded that there may never be a “perfect time.” Even when we think we aren’t ready to dance, the music starts and we find our feet moving to the rhythm. We were ready the whole time – we just need to go for it.